Help! I’ve never led a small group before!
Holy Babble resources are designed to make leading a small group easy – even if you have no background with teaching or leading a small group. That said, it can be really scary to sit down with a group for the first time and try to get them talking – especially if you don’t know one another well. Here are my best tips for leading a great conversation.
Prepare more than you need to – Give the session guide a good read through, and if you have time, do your own research. Be prepared to share extra information, images, videos, etc if you think they might be helpful. Work through the questions yourself ahead of time so that you have examples to share and can make people comfortable sharing their thoughts. Maybe jot down some extra questions, “Do others agree with this?” or “What experience do you have with this topic?” are great general ones. But also...
Know when to stop talking. Silence is okay. As the person designated to be “the leader”, we can feel pressure to fill the time with constant talking. If your group is more introverted, though, and especially when folks are getting to know each other, they might need time to warm up. It’s okay to sit in silence after asking a question and waiting for someone else to respond. Usually, it’s uncomfortable enough for the extroverts in the group that someone will start talking. Also, it’s important to remember the goal of getting others talking and feeling comfortable chatting about their faith. Sometimes, for those of us with a teacher’s spirit, when we’re passionate about the subject matter, we can fail to notice how much verbal space we’re taking up ourselves. Pay attention and try to moderate as necessary.
Manage your time. This was an early tip I got in ministry – start and end on time and people will trust you. By and large, I think that’s true. Pay attention to the resource guide as you go along. If your session is an hour, you want to spend roughly 15min on introductions, 35 minutes on the bulk of the conversation, and 10 minutes wrapping up. While it’s okay to follow the energy a little bit (see the next point), don’t be afraid to use gentle verbal cues to keep things moving. Something like, “Thanks for raising that. It’s a great segue to our next question.” Or “Wow! This is a great conversation. Thanks for sharing all of that, but I do want to honour our time together and we still have a couple of things to chat about.” I know it feels cheesy, but practice interjecting a few times and it will get easier. That said it’s also important to...
Follow the energy. Some of the best conversations I’ve led with small groups have been when things go off script. Sometimes someone comes in with a reflection or question that you can just tell they’ve been thinking about the whole week. Or sometimes things organically go off the rails a bit. It’s empowering to the group to let them explore the topics that are meaningful for them. This is when the most transformation can happen. I’ve been in the opposite situation too – a member of small groups where a beautiful conversation was happening that the facilitator shut down because our ten minutes or whatever were up. You could just feel the energy drain out of the room. It takes time, though, to judge whether the tangents are useful and overall supportive of the goals of the session or whether folks are just talking. Trust your instincts. And remember, if you don’t get to all the questions, that may help you have more material for next time (see first point). You can always look back at the start of a session asking something like, “Did anyone have any new insights after our conversation last time?”
Get to know your group. I don’t often ask people to sign up for a study ahead of time, but sometimes it can be helpful to know who’s coming. In some cases, you won’t have more than one session so maybe you’re just winging it. If possible, though, it’s great to pay attention to who the chatty folks are and who tends to hold back (always great to invite sharing, “Name, were you about to share something?”). Also, over time, you can begin to know how people connect to the material. Some connect through history, logic, or science. Some connect to the emotions of it all. Some will be drawn to the social justice component. It’s good to know that ahead of time to balance what you’re sharing and to challenge people to relate in new ways.
What are your best tips? Leave a comment and let us know!
Have more questions? Want to chat about your specific context? Send me an e-mail or set up a consultation.
